• ~The Outspoken Observer~
  • By Mark Koch
  •  
  • 7/3/18
  • The Invisible War

    It is not an external battle of nation against nation. Fought not with guns or bombs, tanks or planes. It is an internal conflict of the mind fighting against itself. Yet like war, the goal is to survive, to be productive, to function in the normal sense. To live freely, unbound from self imprisonment. To hold ones self together when it would be easy to fall apart, to crack and crumble away. Becoming a pile of debris from an explosion of emotion and soul devastating destruction.

    You seek to be valiant. To serve with a sense freedom from the demons that inhabit your grey matter, that wish nothing more than to see you fail, to falter, and fall away from all that you know to be right and true. You dare not speak of the suffering that holds onto your very existence in fear of ridicule, to be labeled as mental or a weak individual.

    There are days you feel you can soar high above the clouds or float upon the wind of a gentle breeze. You bask in the warm embrace of the light that warms your very being. Then days come that weigh you down as if being trapped within a collapsed building. You struggle to breath or even move. You become enclosed by claustrophobic suffocation of the weight of the world upon your being.

    You try to forget, yet the harder you try the easier it is to remember. You look for an ear to listen, but your words fall upon deafness. No one cares of the woes you suffer. Get over it, they exclaim as if their clueless minds could ever rationalize your experiences that they have never lived. Some become so lost that the only peace they can fathom to obtain is in the arms of death itself.  So they go off, away from the hell of misery.

    The Invisible War of which I speak is the struggle of PTSD. A haunting reminder that all is not well. That more healing must be done. We never lose our demons, we only learn to live above them. Hope, faith, and our own spirit is our guide. We chose to either allow the darkness to swallow our souls, or to allow the light to chase away the shadows and fear. Then and only then will you find peace within the chaos. You must bring the pain, trauma, and tragedy to the surface to feel it in all of its intensity. You can not beat a river into submission, only to surrender to its current.

    The key to unlock the prison door is to surrender, to what once was, and to what is now. The past hurt must be left to rest as death itself, and to understand that you are not the circumstance of events that has kept you locked away. That prevents you from enjoying your freedom. Life is filled with experiences that cause us to either rise or fall.

    It is choosing to either remain a hostage or simply turning the key to unlock the cell in which we find ourselves trapped. The mind can suffer but it can also heal. It is by deciding to take the journey of self exploration that will relieve the mind heart and soul of its suffering. Wellness comes from within, patience and vigilance will help you find what is sought. That is when the invisible war can be won.